In My Hands

Am I really loved? This is a question I ask myself way too often. “Am I really loved?” “Do I really matter?” “Do I have a place?” Growing up I always felt like the one who just didn’t measure up, the one who was never going to be smart enough, pretty enough, good enough. In my mind, I was the tall, awkward, out of place girl. I tried really hard to find people, places, teams, groups that could maybe feel like my place, but I always felt like I never quite got there. I always felt so stupid, unneeded and alone. I still feel this way today. I hate it! I don’t want to feel this way, but too often I do. This last trip to Montana I had a subtle, but powerful experience while sketching this piece. I was just sitting on the bed in my van sketching when I had a soft warmth come in my heart reminding me that I wasn’t the thoughts in my head telling me I’m not enough and that I was seen and loved. I set this sketch down for close to 30 minutes and had a really good hard cry. This piece suddenly became so much more. It became me and my Heavenly Mother and her telling me that she sees me, that she loves me, that I have a place with her. How I needed that reminder in that moment. At times we may feel so distant from God and His love, but He and Heavenly Mother and The Savior are always right there with us. Holding us. Loving us. I hope this painting helps you to feel something good. I hope it helps you to feel light, or peace, or hope, comfort, strength, happiness. I hope it helps you to feel close to God. I hope it helps you to know that even though this life can be messy and noisy, lonely, and chaotic, that YOU are in their hands. They stand with you. They love you. They see you! Reproduced from the artist''s original artwork of Watercolor on Paper 16.25” x 18.25”. Painted 2026.

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